Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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