So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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