I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
