I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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