I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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