You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize