I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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