that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
