We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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