Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize