I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A+ Viking dick
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