You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize