i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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