Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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