"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
