Sry I called you an 8
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
