walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
