we're blogging at a bar
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
