Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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