like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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