nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
