That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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