I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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