Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
