WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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