do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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