sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
