I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
