we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
