He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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