Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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