Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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