Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
