I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
