Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
