Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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