No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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