maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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