It's like God shit irony all over that family
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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