it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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