And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
