Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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