You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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