Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
