Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
