Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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