there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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