you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
