Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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