remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize