dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
