The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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