Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
