I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
