yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
