i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize