guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
