i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
