He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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