We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
