Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He had one of those small greek statue penises
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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