three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
