so explain again why im purple
no
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
